Please don't say you love me
by A chance to fly
Summary: 'He finally admitted it to himself. Really, fully realized and admitted it. He was so in love with Usagi-san that it scared him, but at the same time he never felt safer than when he was next to him.' Misaki wants to say something, but can't get the words out...Just some Misaki/Akihiko fluff.


**This is the first fan fiction I've ever posted, so I'm really excited right now! It's just a little one-shot that came in my head when I listened to the song "Please don't say you love me" by Gabrielle Aplin. It's really beautiful, and it might be nice to listen to it while reading this. **

**Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I'm not the amazing mangaka who created Junjou Romantica. Therefore, I do not own it.**

Usagi-san was everything he ever wanted.

The realization hit Misaki like a train at full speed. He was lying in Usagi-san's bed and looked at the man sleeping next to him. His soft, silvery hair, surprisingly long lashes, beautiful, soft lips…Misaki quickly looked away, a blush already forming on his cheeks. There had been a time when he daydreamed about moments like this. Back in high school, when his friends talked about and flirted with and dated girls, while he never even got their attention, he'd spent quite some hours up in his room, dreaming about the day he would finally meet that special someone. When it came to the real thing, however…There just wasn't anyone who caught his attention. So when more and more time passed and he still only had an imaginary love life, he gave up on trying to find someone. There wasn't really anything he could do but wait, anyway.

And then he met Usagi-san, and while he never ever would have expected the novelist to fall in love with him, he was even more surprised at himself for loving the man back.

Misaki sighed. There. He finally admitted it to himself. Really, fully realized and admitted it. He was so in love with Usagi-san that it scared him, but at the same time he never felt safer than when he was next to him.

He looked at Usagi-san again, listened to his calm breathing, and suddenly felt the overwhelming urge to touch him. He pushed himself up on one elbow and moved his free hand in Usagi-san's direction. After a slight hesitation, he carefully touched his left cheek, his right cheek, trailed down toward his thin, soft lips…

'Misaki?'

Misaki quickly withdrew his hand and backed away, holding his breath while hoping Usagi-san would fall asleep again.

Of course, he didn't.

'Misaki? Are you…okay?'

Usagi-san, still half-asleep, rubbed his eyes before directing his gaze on Misaki, who was currently on the other side of the bed, as far away as possible.

'Y-yes.'

He felt his face heating up and desperately tried to hide it by turning his head away. Usagi-san didn't fall for it, however.

'Misaki…'

He couldn't back away any further, since that would result in falling of the bed, so he let Usagi-san come closer and wrap his arms around him. Misaki hesitated and then lay his head on his lover's chest, listening to his heartbeat. Did he imagine it or was it beating a little faster than normal? They stayed like that for a while. Just when Misaki felt his eyelids grow heavy, a soft voice whispered in his ear.

'I love you, Misaki.'

He stiffened and, again, felt his cheeks grow warm. Damn it, why did he always have to blush like some high school kid with a crush? He pulled back from the warm embrace.

'Please…don't…'

Violet eyes grew wide.

'…Misaki?'

The shame and guilt made that he couldn't look Usagi-san in the eyes. He backed away again.

'Just…please don't say…that.'

Usagi-san suddenly grabbed his wrists and brought his face on the same level as Misaki's. The worried look cut straight through him.

'Why? What's wrong?'

Misaki bit his lip, unsure whether to speak his mind or not. This was definitely going to be embarrassing, but then again…everything was when he was with Usagi-san. And he deserved an explanation.

'I…just…I want to, but…I might not… say it back.'

Usagi-san's eyes widened again, but this time they were filled with another emotion.

'You…you want to say…you love me?'

Misaki nodded, looking at the sheets. Cold fingers grabbed his chin and lifted his head, and then his lips met another pair. The kiss was soft and sweet, so unlike Usagi-san that Misaki almost got worried. When they broke apart, he studied Usagi-san's face, afraid something was wrong. There was definitely something different…The lavender eyes were soft and…

'U-usagi-san? Are you crying?'

The man simple smiled at him and then pulled him in a hug.

'Thank you, Misaki. It means a lot to me. I'd still love to hear you say it, but for now, it's enough to know that you try. Just take your time.'

Usagi-san made a move to kiss him again, but Misaki shook his head.

'No, it's not enough. I…I lo-…'

There was no helping it, he just couldn't say it, no matter how hard he tried. He didn't realize he was crying too until Usagi-san softly whipped away his tears.

'It's okay, Misaki. Let's go to sleep. You've got work tomorrow, right? You shouldn't fall asleep while doing your job.'

Misaki wanted to snap at him like usual (_'Just whose fault do you think that would be?'_), but found he couldn't. Instead, he nodded and lay down. Usagi-san wrapped his arms around him again and held him close. The warmth and the feeling of safety soon made him doze off. Before he completely fell asleep, however, he mumbled, face pressed against Usagi-san's shoulder: '…love you…Usagi-san…'

While Misaki was sleeping soundly, Akihiko just lay there looking at him, a tear rolling down his cheek and a smile on his face.

**Yes, they're both really emotional today xD I hope they weren't too OOC. Anyway, please let me know what you think, that would mean a lot! Constructive criticism is always welcome, too. :)**


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